Resolving Conflict
Introduction | Concepts | Exercises | Good Ending | Bad Ending | Discussion
Concepts

Resolving conflict is no simple task. Often you must deal with people whose emotions are running high or whose investment in their own point of view is so great that compromise is difficult. In any event, the fundamental goal of conflict resolution is to develop a solution everyone can live with. Achieving this goal requires strong listening skills and a willingness to understand the positions of others.

Conflict resolution typically takes one of three forms:

  • The win-lose strategy, whereby the conflict ends with one person in the position of winner and another in the position of loser. Since no one likes to lose, the person in that position may well feel resentful. That resentment could, in the long run, undermine whatever you might have gained by declaring a winner.
  • The lose-lose strategy, whereby both parties to the conflict give in on some of the issues that are important to them. This strategy is more effective than the previous one because is does not starkly oppose a winner to a loser. Even so, this strategy risks making everyone feel that they have given up too much.
  • The win-win strategy, whereby everyone involved is encouraged to cooperate in a solution that benefits all. The value of this strategy is obvious. It emphasizes mutual gains rather than mutual losses or uneven gains. When faced with conflict, you should do all you can to achieve win-win outcomes.

Of course, the best way to resolve conflict is to deal with it while it's still relatively minor. Take time to acknowledge the feelings of those involved, and make sure you have accurately assessed the cause before developing a solution. Finally, do all you can to involve the parties of the conflict in the solution process.

As you attempt to resolve conflict, you will no doubt confront resistance. No matter how agreeable you are, some people will fight you every step of the way. Other people may be overcome by their emotions and may not, at first, be able to talk coherently about the issue. Still other people may meet your efforts with stony silence. You can overcome resistance like this by remaining calm and demonstrating your understanding of the person's point of view. You can break through the silence by gently but directly confronting and coaxing the person to say what's on their mind. Finally, when resolving a conflict, listen to and evaluate all objections fairly. Others have legitimate points of view that may help you see your way to a win-win solution.

Understanding that people have different styles for handling conflict will help you to diffuse potentially difficult interactions. As always, the ideal situation is to analyze your audience, learn their needs and differences, and design your communication to meet their needs.


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